[Verse 1] There's a hole in the bottom of the sea A hole in the bottom of the sea There's a hole, there's a hole A hole in the bottom of the sea [Verse 2] There's a pipe in the hole in the bottom of the sea A pipe in the hole in the bottom of the sea There's a hole, there's a hole A hole in the bottom of thе sea [Verse 3] There's a crack in thе...Learn More

My sister Mary loved visiting mom Would take her out for a ride They both enjoyed the open road And gently rolling countryside So different from the nursing home Where she'd sit in a chair Thinking that she'd just arrived And wanting to get away from there They'd drive past farms and sometimes stop Buy fruit and fresh picked corn Gather sunflowers...Learn More

Oh I live on the street where My Grandfather worked More than 50 years ago The 59th floor of the Empire State Building Did I ever visit him there? No But my cousin Georgie Has a black and white photograph Where he's sitting in Grandpa's chair Grandpa's beside him They are both smiling Both looking proud to be there The Empire State Building Opened...Learn More

On my way to a festival up in Canada A volunteer met my plane, a foggy day She's there to drive me to a house in town Where I'm assigned to stay I am sleep deprived and cranky All I want is to lie down In the car she casually says "I don't make left hand turns" As we drive into town She explains she just got her license Turning left makes her too...Learn More

I like big words 'cause I'm a sesquipedalian I like how it feels to say Pantagruelian, illywacker Arglebargle, unctious Noctambulist, capernoited, brontide Fankle, cruciverbalist Saxicolous - someone who lives Under a rock Chronomentrophobia - fear of clocks Jejune behavior is juvenile A connoisseur of fine wine is an oenophile Cupidity relates to...Learn More

I did a concert In a quaint little dive bar Somewhere out there in the midwest I got a room in a mom and pop motel Admittedly not the best After the show when the bar owner heard this He said no, you'll stay with me and my wife We've been renovating our guest room For times like this You'll have the sleep of your life He drove me back to the...Learn More

Hadn't been to the doctor in 24 months Got no complaints No lumps no baby bumps But it's time for a checkup So I make an appointment Hope I don't need no pills Or ointment The nurse takes my blood pressure Good! it's not high My ears are OK, so are my eyes She says, "Step on the scale Let's check your weight Then everything will be up to...Learn More

When you're in a certain mood For a certain kind of food Nothing else will satisfy Like if you're hankerin' for pie (but I'm not hankerin' for pie) I like a certain soup a lot I always make a giant pot I hope you will be thankin' me I'm giving you the recipe 4 tablespoons peanut oil 3 cups sweet onions chopped 2 teaspoons grated ginger 6 celery...Learn More

Now her shocked friends and family Have all gathered 'round But she did not leave instructions The family did not what to do Oh Lord Oh Lord Don't let this happen to you She hated shopping she hated religion Her funeral's in a church in a mall Next door there's a half price sale on sheets Turning into a brawl Inside the preacher once twice Three...Learn More

I'm gonna flip those flapjacks in the pan Smother 'em with syrup Cover 'em with spam Put tobasco on your scrambled eggs Jelly on your toast Get ready for the kind of meal you love the most Popovers muffins bagels and lox It's time to get up now It's 10 o'clock Squeeze those oranges Grind them beans It's time for Sunday breakfast with Christine Oh...Learn More

There's a storm on the horizon Skies are blustery and grey All hands on deck Anchor's aweigh The captain says full steam ahead You can trust in me Now we're hangin' on for dear life Between the devil and the deep blue sea His crew are all landlubbers His sons and his daughter None of them has spent time On this kind of water He's never piloted a...Learn More

I don't make things up I just make 'em rhyme So no one will get hurt Let's start with "Once upon a time" I did a concert in a quaint little theater Next to a charming AirBnB If I thanked them from the stage I could stay for free The people who had the room before me Were a couple of cute newlyweds Who loved each other madly And loved the king...Learn More