I didn't know that a gum could last this long Chewing all day and all through the night Never loses its flavor When I want to stop chewing I just pass it along to a friend Chewing forever I just pass it along to a friend Chewing forever You never have to buy another stick of gum And you know when your breath is fresh and you're feeling...Learn More

Take your favorite girlfriend and you know Take her for a night on the town Take your favorite boyfriend and you know Slam him into the ground Finally, we're out here all by ourselves That reminds me, all your stuff is still on my shelves Clear your mind out until You're thinking about air Let your imagination wander Into a pit of despair I'm...Learn More

[Verse 1] Facebook is for asshats Tumblr is full of morons Twitter is full of idiots The internet is dumb Leafing through the pages Of a guide to live I’ve memorized the section About the animal kingdom [Chorus] Why do birds Why do birds Why do birds lie to birds? Why do birds lie to birds But they always tell the truth To every other...Learn More

[Verse 1] Volcano’s a hole where the lava lives The sky is the goal when the volcano gives A hole is a hole is a hole is a hole Gophers make holes and they live in your yard Moles live in holes and their life isn’t hard A hole is a hole is a hole is a hole Is a hole is a hole is a hole The Earth’s full of holes and The holes are where the animals...Learn More

[Chorus] The first injury on the job is the best Injury on the job, it's the first injury The first injury on the job is the best Injury on the job, it's the first I heard when you fell, that you took the place down I heard when you fell, that you took the place down I heard when you fell, that you took the place down And your screams could be...Learn More

[Verse 1] Well, I’m not like the other guys Because I am a raccoon I noticed what big teeth you have Underneath the full moon I hope that you will talk to me I hope that you won’t eat me And I hope that we can spend some time together I hope that we can spend some time together [Verse 2] I hope that you don’t mind the noise Because I never shut...Learn More

I sleep with my fists in the air I'm an angry raccoon when you call me "trash bear" Making friends with your dog in the night We talk shit about you and your hideous life And I'm building a stairway to heaven Out of garbage and broken dreams When I get there I know if the stores are all closed I can probably check all the dumpsters You're a mouth...Learn More

If you were to look in my heart You'd find a record player that tears records apart And if you were to look in my mind You'd find a tape cassette that you can never rewind Oh, this summer never ends Is there nothing around us except for our friends? I think I hear someone at the door You don't have to knock if you've been here before It's time to...Learn More

[Verse 1] I miss you, Space Cat Where have you gone? Seems we needed you now More than we ever have before The Earth is flat, but Who can tell you that While you’re floating around it and having a ball? Having a ball Tiny astronaut floating into outer space I don’t even know where but You’re as far as anyone can be from anyone else Maybe if I...Learn More

If you want we can go to Louisa's house I think by now she's cleaned the blood off the floor We won't go in the backyard where the bodies are And let's not stop on that same trap door We'll have to sneak in, avoid your three-headed dog Or at least the angry head It seems to happen every time I am there Skulls under the waterbed Don't mind the fact...Learn More

Everything's so far away Would it be alright if I stayed? If this train falls off the track Can I ride upon your back? Feet on the ground and wind in the air Please don't forget that I'm there If you lose me on the way Where I land is where I'll stay Can I trust you? Can we turn back? If you've gone too far, I'll have a panic attack If things get...Learn More

Twisting and fighting and sometimes I’m biting I’m giving you rabies outside of a mall Howling and foaming and I’ve got double vision One glass of water and I’ll surely drown I’m sorry, but I don’t think there’s a cure For-- Can’t reach the pedals, can’t see past the dashboard I’m looking so angry while driving a bus I’m not as messed up as you...Learn More