[Lyric] Captains Log (Ben Brinton)

This is the Star-Captain’s Log
The star date is 5103
Everything’s smashing! There’s no sense of clashing
I’ve just finished my Earl Grey tea

This is the Star-Captain’s Log
There’s no drama, no treasons, no tricks
We're just sailing the sea of celestial debris...
Although my pilot is a bit of a prick

He didn’t report that the mission abort
Was because of a bad fusion disk
For he speaks with a slur, and he smells absurd
Cause he drinks like a goddamn fish

This is the Star-Captain’s Log
Let me just through this right into the mix
There’s rumors-a-brewing, crеw members are stеwing
About mistreatments made on Deck 6

Someone was fired, for being Pluto inspired
And their partner couldn’t buy them a cake
In the catering line; the food was just fine
But the cooks security clearance was accused of being fake!
This is the Star-Captain’s Log
The star date is 5103
Heads are all clashing, middle-class is collapsing
It’s almost like 2020

This is the Star-Captain’s Log
Please don’t think it’s too much for me to take
But there was an invasion, all hell was a-raisen
And now I’m stranded south of some lake

We called Cortona, but she was long-gonna
I believe her “good-byes” were brief
When the Elites arrived; their lasers all live
And no appearance from the master chief!

This is the Star-Captain’s Log
I don’t mean to bitch, I don’t mean to pout
But I’m dreaming of days, and the friends that I made
At the occasional comedy night out