[Lyric] NAUSEOUS (Stevesaintjames)

[Verse 1]
Ok, how can I not hate myself?
Forget about love just obtain more wealth
Try to lower your standards and ruin your health
And they’ll think that you’re weak if you’re searching for help
So just shut up and smile like the bitch that you are
All juveniles concealing ARs
Went some more miles but don’t raise the bar
I just want to be happy with being the way that we are, shit
But we ain’t never going far, bitch
It found its way to my apartment
Those feelings tearing me apart quick
Cause I don’t matter, not a target
This will never work out
You don’t know what I’m ‘bout
You got me at my darkest
No one ever hears my shouts
I don’t got the clout for all my words to start shit
Do I bring my problems to the public cause in private I don’t count or cause I’m heartless
Heartless
Fuck!
Cause I…
Woke up with some bad intentions
Whatever it takes to get some damn attention
And when I’m anxious I just act pretentious
And then tell a couple friends to get up out my mentions
So my existence kinda bad for business
Can’t apologize and I give half-forgiveness
Tell me it ain’t wise and my reaction’s vicious
I don’t give a shit, this that straight tragic simpin’, like-
[Hook]
Aw shit
Girl you’re filling me with doubt
Never in or out
Yeah you got me nauseous
Best option is to blow my fucking brains out
Put me in a coffin
Never really want me round
Always block my route
Yeah I’m fuckin nauseous
Aw shit
Fuck!

[Verse 2]
Ok, how do I make her not hate me?
I’m lazy, basically going crazy
The mainstream don’t know my name, but that’s changing
Ain’t wasting my time, I’m just tryna break free
Cause right now my future’s more than hazy
Will to live decreasing on the fucking daily
No one gives a shit ‘bout how I’m feeling lately
How hell do I expect to get a fucking lady?
I’m waiting… past a facade of hope
No one worry ‘bout me cause I’ve turned my life to a joke
We ain’t in the same boat
No one notices this slippery slope that I’ll be falling down ‘till everything’s broke
I had it right as a child: I should have never fucking spoke
Cause I’m afraid of the person that I become when provoked
I hate my motherfucking life and I’m refusing to cope
So if nobody wants to hold me then the noose gonna choke, going-
[Hook]
Aw shit
Girl you’re filling me with doubt
Never in or out
Yeah you got me nauseous
Best option is to blow my fucking brains out
Put me in a coffin
Never really want me round
Always block my route
Yeah I’m fuckin nauseous
Nauseous
Fuck!
Aw shit
Girl you’re tearing me apart
Where’s your fucking heart?
All these thoughts are toxic
Worst part is I know gotta change but don’t know where to start
I’m nauseous
Take the knife and make a mark
Never made a spark
Now I’m fuckin nauseous
Aw shit
Fuck!

[Bridge]
Everything’s so contradictory
Truth and trickery
I’ve tried everything to kill ‘em but these feelings stick to me
[Verse 3]
Is there life beyond the pain and misery?
Just not your type or am I everyone’s enemy?
Work through the night but still nobody has sympathy
Are we still tight or are you tryna get rid of me?
It’s sucking me of my energy pretending to not care
When you belittle me wishing I was not there
Suffering from the penalty of photographic memory
All the pain I have ever seen will always be on air
Yo- everybody hears but no one’s listenin’
I’m at my breaking point but they’re still dissin’ cause I’m instigant
That’s instant defense
I’m made of minutemen with pads and pens
Now friends are my victims but I’m insistent that I’m innocent
I’m nauseous

[Refrain]
They all think I’m worthless I can’t let ‘em know it’s true
Am I swimming to the surface or the bottom of the pool?
I think I’m hurting for a purpose but that purpose has no clue
I just wish this life was over so I’d stop thinking of you
Fuck!